My Rating: 
Author: Chelsea Handler
Narrator: Chelsea Handler
Length: 6 hrs., 13 mins.
Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio
Publisher’s Summary: In My Horizontal Life, actress and stand-up comedian Chelsea Handler boldly recounted her one-night stands – the good, the bad, and the disastrous. In this wickedly honest new work, she casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date – including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.
Whether it’s a vacation with her dad during which he tells airline staff they’re a honeymoon couple in order to get an upgrade, or her elaborate attempts to convince her third-grade classmates that she’s starring in a Private Benjamin sequel, Chelsea lets it rip in these relentlessly entertaining essays. Displaying the candor and irresistible turn of phrase that have earned her a recurring stint as a correspondent on The Tonight Show as well as her own E! series, Chelsea Lately, this deliciously skewed collection is a guilty pleasure.
©2008 Chelsea Handler; (P)2008 Simon and Schuster, Inc.
My Review: Until this audiobook, I’d only heard Chelsea Handler’s name in passing. I’ve never listened or seen any of her comedy routines or any of her TV/movie appearances. Lame, huh? After listening to this entire audiobook in less than a day, I’m hooked on Chelsea! She’s hilarious, obscene and smart.
Warning: Don’t listen to this audiobook if you fall into any of the following criteria:
• You’re offended by the word “asshole”. She uses it ALOT. Mostly referring to herself, friends, family, co-workers, animals, passersby, etc.
• You don’t enjoy a good drink here and there. Chelsea drinks. Alot.
• You don’t enjoy uncensored comedy. Chelsea’s mind and mouth don’t have a filter.
So now that I’ve given you the appropriate warnings, you can listen and love. This audiobook had me laughing during the entire time. Chelsea has hilarious nicknames for her boyfriends and the best might be for her Dad, “Bitch Tits”.
The last chapter of Are you there, Vodka? It’s Me Chelsea was by far the best. She travels to Costa Rica with “Bitch Tits” and ends up begging her siblings to come to her rescue. He’s a crazy old Jewish man with, you guessed it, no mouth filter.
If you want a few hours with lots of laughs, download this audiobook! I can’t put into words how funny Chelsea is in her book. Since finishing it this afternoon, I’ve set my DVR to record every upcoming episode of her TV show, Chelsea Lately. I hope it’s just as good!!
Narrator Review: This audiobook HAD to be narrated by Chelsea. I’m pretty sure any other narrator screaming “asshole”, “Bitch Tits” and other obscenities wouldn’t be near as entertaining. She has a great voice and here’s hoping she writes and narrates more books!
Download Are you there, Vodka? It’s Me Chelsea now!
Disclosure: I streamed this audiobook from Audiobooks.com.
